I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
