Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
