I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
