Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
