i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
