so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
