So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
