I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize