I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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