Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
