I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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