I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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