Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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