Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
