I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
