Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
