So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
