you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
