This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
