you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
