return my video game
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
