no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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