I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
