i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
