what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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