We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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