WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize