I bet he comes in French.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
