Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
