she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
