those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
