He had one of those small greek statue penises
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize