absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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