In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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