I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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