I wannas sexs uuuuu
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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