Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
