Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
