I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
