You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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