ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
