we have officially lost it.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
