Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
