I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
