So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
