shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
