I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
