I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
