at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
