I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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