Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
