Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
