She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
