We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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