On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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