69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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