her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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