I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
