i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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