i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Someone shattered a urinal.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
