I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
