question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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