We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
