I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
