I don't think brook has ever known best
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
