I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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