we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Are my feet made of real feet?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
