Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When did angry sex become our thing?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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