Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
