HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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