They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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