your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
